Another reason to hate Dave Matthews' Band

I've never been a big fan of DMB. It's not that I think they're terrible. Back when they were popular, I simply found his whiny voice to be ridiculously overrated. Regardless, in the past few months of living abroad, I've found another reason to dislike the band aside from their poor sound quality and egotistical name.

There is a quote of theirs that I really liked in college. It went like this:

"Turns out, not where but who you're with that really matters."

I used to like that quote...until I found myself on a plane heading 20 hours away from all of the people that mattered most to me. If it's who you're with that matters most, then I was about to have the worst year imaginable. As I was flying from Munich to Izmir on that last flight, all I could think of was that stupid quote, and moreover, what a mistake I had made. I would have given anything for the flight attendant to be selling airplane tickets from her little beverage cart so that I could just stay on the plane and return home to my 'who'.

Luckily for me, she was not offering tickets with the drinks, or I would have never had the fantastic five months that I have had. While I have missed being with my loved ones so much, I have also been able to grow and experience amazing things I would never have done otherwise. Which leads me to resent Dave Mathews a little for his misleading quote, because I think he's got it partially wrong. It's not that the 'who' in your life isn't important; of course, people are important. Relationships are what make our lives bearable. But, I think there's a better 'wh-' question word that encompasses both 'where' and 'who' --- 'why.' If I were Dave Matthews, I would have written the line something like this:

"Turns out, it's not where you are or who you're with that matters, it's why you're doing what you're doing."

It might be a bit wordy for a melody, but to me, the most important factor is why are you living your life the way you are. Maybe your 'why' is because of the 'where.' Maybe it's because of the 'who.' Or maybe it's because you're fulfilling some purpose for a period of time. To me, if you can justify 'why,' that's what really matters. It's too easy to make decisions based on 'where' and 'who' alone. Making a big life decision based on 'why' requires that you have done some sort of examination of your life; you know where you've been and you know where you want to go.

It's with that thought in my head that I start to plan what comes next. Somehow, when I was finishing college, I thought by the age of 26 I wouldn't have to keep planning my future year after year. Yet, I don't think I'd have it any other way. I'm happy with my 'why,' and it's only a matter of time before I figure out what the next stage looks like. Maybe it's Turkey for another year. Maybe it's going back to school in the Midwest. Maybe it's teaching again South Carolina. At this point, selling seashells on the beach is also a viable option.

All I know for certain is that, at this moment, I'm where I am supposed to be... and that I still hate Dave Matthews' Band.